The Crisis Planner

A Holiday Tradition

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 03:31:00 GMT

The “BOX” arrived from Green Bay, Wisconsin. It was the week before Christmas. The “BOX” wrapped in brown paper and tied up with string was finally here.

The “BOX” from Grandma Osiecki is one of my most cherished Christmas memories.

Even before it was opened, we could smell the goodness that was carefully wrapped and tucked inside.

Grandma had been baking for weeks and now we were the recipients of all the wonderfulness and tasty goodness that would be found inside.

There were frosted sugar cookies decorated with sparkling sprinkles, silver balls and red hots. Rum Balls, Molasses Cookies (my favorite), Hungarian Butter Horns (my sister’s favorite), Mint Surprise, Peanut Rolls, Divinity, Pecan Puffs, Melt-aways, and of course wonderful creamy fudge.

Everything was carefully wrapped in wax paper, two cookies back-to-back to minimize breakage.

We didn’t care if they were broken. They tasted fantastic whole or broken.

The arrival of the box even inspired my mom to do some baking. While she never liked cooking or baking there was something special about baking Christmas cookies that inspired her.

She stuck to the simple and traditional. Chocolate Chips, Peanut Butter, and Spritz Cookies. She would press out the Spritz Cookies with a manual cookie press - green Christmas Trees, pink hearts, and white wreaths which we decorated with a variety of sprinkles.

The spell cast by the smell of freshly baking and baked cookies filling the house is one of my cherished memories of the season.

Our next-door neighbor Jean was busy making her mini Pecan Tarts, jam filled cream cheese delights, and her famous crescents. She guarded her crescent recipe and would not share it with anyone.

My other grandmother was making some of her traditional German cookies. She baked the most buttery butter cookies that melted in your mouth, almond meringue topping a delicate cookie disk, and Pfeffernüsse.

A second box would be delivered to her house from family in Germany. Her sister would send traditional Christmas Stollens, marzipan, and brandy filled chocolates.

All these marvelous holiday confections were shared making for a beautiful display on multitiered cookie trays starting on Christmas Eve and refilled and shared throughout the holiday season.

We would bring a tray of cookies when visiting friends. Our offering would be mingled with their own for an endless variety of treats.

I grew up with a love of baking especially tied to the holidays.

When I was first married, I sat down with Grandma Osiecki and asked her to share her recipes with me. She did so happily as we talked about how much I loved watching her bake and especially loved seeing that special “BOX” arrive, each Christmas.

For her baking was a labor of love and I embraced her love for baking throughout my adult life.

I sat down with my Grandma Reichert and not only was able to get her traditional German recipes I also received my very own metric measuring cone as all of her recipes were in grams.

My father started making Christmas Stollen when my Grandma Reichert was in a nursing home. He struggled a bit with the yeast in the beginning but soon produced a Stollen to be proud of. This made my grandmother smile as she slathered the thin slices of Stollen with butter.

Jean finally shared her Crescent recipe with me.

Every year I baked Christmas cookies. Lots and lots of cookies. I made quick breads, pumpkin, cranberry, and lemon bread. I made 10-11 varieties of cookies and 4-5 types of candies. I would wrap up trays to give away to friends, neighbors, and colleagues.

I baked when I lived in Boston. I baked when I lived in Kwajalein. I bake now in New York.

My Grandmother sent the “BOX” every year. She even sent a box the year she turned 90 in 1991. She passed away one month later, that January.

My Grandmothers, my mom, dad, and Jean have all passed away but they live on in my baking.

Every year I take out my recipe box and pull out the flour and oil stained recipe cards.

I lovingly recreate their recipes. I think of them while I am baking and smile remembering all the wonder filled Christmas celebrations, they were a part of and how they are still a part of them even today through the baking I do.

I would spend four days baking.

My husband called me the “White Tornado”. I would come home from Costco with a giant bags of flour, sugar, brown sugar, powdered sugar, chocolate chips, walnuts, pecans, eggs, and pounds of butter. At the grocery store I filled my cart with cream cheese, graham crackers, marshmallow fluff, brownie mix, butterscotch chips, candied fruits, sprinkles, cornstarch, baking powder. baking soda, vanilla, and Chinese noodles.

On baking days the Christmas music was blasting as I put on a holiday apron and went to play in the kitchen. I always thought of it as play not work.

I’d pull out my trusty Kitchenaid Mixer, my Cuisinart food processor, my trusty rolling pin, mixing bowls, mixing spoons, measuring cups and spoons. Ready for a baking marathon

Ready to make the double and triple quantities of Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal Scotchies, Peanut Butter, and Spritz coolies.

I perfected a Peanut Butter Fudge recipe at long last.

Most other recipes were in single batches. I made trays of bars to be cut into squares. Every giant cookie tin I owned was lined with wax paper and filled with fresh baked goodness.

Some things required refrigeration before baking, and some were refrigerated after baking or making.

Every morning for two weeks before the holiday breaks I would fill 10-12 cookie trays, wrap them in cellophane and tie them up with decorative Christmas ribbon. They would be delivered throughout the day to my clients.

I would laugh as some willingly shared them with their staff and others hid them to take home to their families or eat all by themselves.

When I retired 11 years ago, I no longer needed to bake in the quantities I did before.

Over the past few years, a new baking tradition has evolved. I no longer spend days in my kitchen baking by myself.

Instead, I get together with my sister and her daughter and we all bake together. We each make 3-4 kinds of cookies. They have reigned me in; but, I often push the envelope and make 5.

The Christmas music is playing, the mixers are humming, the ovens are pre-heated, and we are sharing the baking experience together. My sister’s grandkids join in cutting and decorating the sugar cookies.

I’m still the “White Tornado” and the flour is flying. My brother-in-law follows us all, but mostly me on cleanup making sure the floor does not become a hazard.

After four hours we stand back and admire our work and set about dividing the bounty we have created.

Everyone has a favorite cookie.

Once, all of those favorites are accounted for, everyone is happy.

Smiles all around!

Joy to the world, another holiday baking marathon is completed…

Ask yourself:

· What are your treasured holiday food and baking traditions?

· What are the foods that remind you of times past?

· Have you sat down with your grandmother, mother, aunt, or neighbor and told them how much the special things they make every year mean to you?

· Have you asked them to show you how they make the things they make? (sometimes, there are secrets that are not written down that can only be seen when you work together)

· Have you written the recipes down that mean something to you?

· What are you doing to pass the traditions down to the next generation?

Holiday traditions are an important part of your family legacy.

They connect one generation with the next and the next after that.

Creating a family cookbook of those traditional recipes can be a fun family project.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

· Self-publish your family cookbook or use a cookbook service.

· Take pictures of the food, table settings, and family members preparing and enjoying the food together.

· Put them together in the cookbook along with the recipes.

· Put notes and stories in the cookbook about the people who created or made the foods being highlighted.

· Put their pictures next to their recipes.

This way their legacy will never be forgotten.

You will have created a family treasure that will be passed on for generations to come.

Also know that some traditions may evolve and change like my own baking tradition has.

Embrace those changes as they include the generations behind you

When the next generation feels the same magic you do you have successfully passed on the love that made the tradition meaningful to you.

Celebrate your holiday food traditions this year and every year.

Do so with joy and love in your heart.

Remember those here and long gone with the holiday traditions that make the holidays so special.

I know I do, and I will continue to.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and Happy New Year to all…

5 Stepping Stones to Joy

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 03:22:00 GMT

When times are uncertian the one thing I know for sure is the only thing I can control right now is me.

How can I take care of me?

I’m not being selfish. I’m taking responsibility for myself to stay strong and healthy – physically, mentally and spiritually.

Instead of focusing on what isn’t. I am focused on what is!

I’ve decided that each day I will do 5 things to take care of myself and to move forward toward my goals and dreams for a joy filled life.

Yes, I still have dreams!

I bet you do too…

Here are my Five Steppingstones to Joy

Ø Grateful Me

Ø Healthy Me

Ø Accomplished Me

Ø Nurished Me

Ø Playful Me

How does this work? Everyday I do these 5 things to focus on the the things I can control in my life instead of the things that I can’t. By keeping a positive focus more good things come into my life. As a result

I have more happiness and peace.

Grateful Me – Each day before I open my eyes I think of all the things I am grateful for. I am grateful to see the sun on a new day, grateful for the opportunity to do something special with the gift I’ve been given of this beautiful new day. I am grateful for my home, Bristol my dog, my family, my work, my friends, my health, and my life.

Even if things may not be smooth and perfect and some things may actually be terribly wrong by focusing and seeing the positive I actually see more positive and more good things seem to happen.

Throughout the day I recognize the things that happen for me to be grateful for, express gratitude for them and I smile.

Healthy Me – When it comes to health I remind myself that it is my responsibilty to take care of me. If I exercise, eat right, take good supplements, drink plenty of water and get enough sleep. (most of the time)

It is a mindset of wellness and prevention instead of disease and deterioration.

Only I can be in charge of what I do to keep me healthy.

If I don’t listen to my body when it tells me the stress in my life is giving me a headache, shoulder pain or gastro distress my body will keep sending me messages louder and LOUDER until it says STOP!!! And I and up in the hospital. It is up to me to listen to the subtle messages and make necessary change before it’s too late.

In the beginning days of the shut-down I was in shock, depressed and anxious. That first month I did no exercise and ate everything bad for me in sight. Mid-day popcorn, cookies, chips, carbs gallore. I really felt awful and what I was feeding myself made me feel even worse.

I said to myself, “Stop it!” I started walking Bristol 1 mile daily, I went to the grocery store and bought healthy food: fruits, berries, vegetables, eggs, meats and no carbs. I started intermittent fasting and keto.

I’ve released 30 lbs and am felling so much better about myself physically and emotionally as Healthy Me.

Accomplished Me – Everyday check something off your to-do list. It can be your personal or business list but do at least one small thing you have been putting off.

Clean out the junk drawer, organize the closet, clean the garage, paint the scratched door frame that you’ve put off for years.

In business make that difficult follow-up call, do your taxes (yuck!), clean up your data base or finish that almost finished project and actually launch it.

Completeing even the smallest task will give you a great felling of accomplishment. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Just something you’ve been meaning to do.

The other day I cleaned out my car and took it to the carwash. Now it’s like it’s a brand new car and it made me feel so good.

Nourished Me – Feeding my mind and spirit daily brings such joy into my life. I am a life-long learner. There is so much to know and learn about how I can better serve myself, others, the world and the universe.

Take a course, jump on a webinar, read a book, join a book club, meditate, explore and share your learning journey with others.

Information is power and freedom from fear of the unknown.

I have learned so many new things during this shut-down about myself and comleted several certifications and courses that have allowed me to grow personally and enhanced my ability to serve others at the highest level.

Nourishing my mind and spirit daily brings me such joy and satisfies my curiosity to know what I don’t know.

I have unleashed a renewed wave of inspiration and creation that is taking me to places I could only imagine before.

The nourished me is feasting on the joy and abundance in my life.

Playful Me – We all need to play! We all need more playtime in our lives.

One of my favorite sayings is:

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing”

George Bernard Shaw

We all can get so bogged down with life we forget to play. I know it has happened to me.

Make time everyday to play. Do something spontaneous. Laugh at yourself. Be silly instead of serious.

Play with the kids! Play with the Dog! Doodle! Do a cannonball into the pool! Be playful with your significant other! Flirt! Have sex in a new place!?! Just PLAY…

Do something unexpected everyday and it will remind you of the joy of being fully alive

Playful me may needed to be planned for at first. Once you make it part of your life daily, the playful you will show up whenever it should. Welcome it with your whole being.

By using these Five Steppingstones to Joy everyday, you will relase the worry and fear that keeps you from the happiness you desire.

And, when you stop at the end of the day the Grateful Me will say,

“Wow what a wonderful gift today has been. I am good. I feel good. I did good. I am truly happy! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

As you drift peacefully into sleep you will dream of what joy waits for you tomorrow…

Being The Eye Of The Storm

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 03:16:00 GMT

Being the eye of the storm.

Of course if you are like me, your thoughts go immediately to a hurricane.

We all have heard about the eye of the storm where the winds cease, the clouds dissipate, and even birds can be seen flying across the blue sky. I have been though hurricanes where the eye has passed overhead. I have stood in the eerie silence of the eye of the storm.

While his years hurricane season has been exceptionally busy, 2020 has brought with it many storms that were not hurricanes.

We have faced unprecedented challenges in 2020. Each one it’s own storm affecting each of us in different ways.

In fact, many of us have had to face the storms of 2020 alone, isolated and afraid.

I would like to invite you, my gentle readers, to look at these storms from a new perspective.

Be the eye of the storm.

Become the calm center while chaos swirls all around you.

Take time every day to go to a place of peace, healing, imagination, and love.

Visualize the what if’s and possibilities the storm brings.

Instead of lamenting about what was or what happened focus your energy on what could be.

When something blows away in the storm it offers a great opportunity to build anew?

What are you going to build?

You are only limited by your imagination.

When the world shut-down in March, I shut down too. I was swept up in the chaos and fear being blasted at me from everywhere. As a widow, I was alone with only my loyal Golden Retriever Bristol to keep me company. I was not in a good place for nearly 6 weeks.

The two months preceding the shut down had been a whirlwind of amazing experiences as I flew around the country to appear on TV, traveled to India as a guest speaker, and attended conferences that invited me to envision just how amazing 2020 would be.

That all came to a halt on March 17th.

Now what was I to do. After a particularly difficult night, crying my eyes out allowing myself to feel the loneliness and dispair that so many others were also feeling as we were swept into the storm,

I had a defining moment.

It was in the moment I made a choice. A choice to step out of the storm and into the eye of it. It was then that I made peace with my circumstaces. I decided to control what I could control and let go of what I could not. I set my intention that the storm would not define nor defeat me.

In the calm of the eye I had clarity and vision for what I could do instead of what I could not.

I changed my path for health and started an exercise and eating plan that has allowed me to release 36lbs to date and feel more energetic than I had in years.

I changed my path for my business with time to learn new things, and how to use tools I had not had the time to use before. I added new certifications, in Life Coaching, Emotional Intelligence and Neuro-Linguistic Programing, that complement my business offerings.

I changed my inclination to procrastination and turned it into motivation, finishing projects on my to-do list that had been lingering there because I had been so busy being busy.

I changed my connection with myself taking time to enjoy the simple plesures of life. I found myself cooking again, savoring every bite, meditating, journeling and most of all opening myself to receiving all the abundance the universe has to offer me.

In being open to receiveing I unlocked a pathway in the universe that has poured an unending waterfall of creativity, productivity, inspiration and determination into me.

This has brought me to a new and timely opportunity to serve others.

It can bring your there too.

If it had not been for the storm I would never have seen or found myself in the eye of the storm.

In the eye of the storm you can see what was being torn apart by the wind and the waves. You can see the things that were strong enough to endure the onslaught.

You can see the things that were too weak to stand.

It is the perfect time to let go of the things that are not serving you at the highest level. Some of those things may be comfortable old friends. Things that you have always done a certain way that may need a new approach, upgrade, or to be discarded.

Remember, you are the eye of your own storm. The storm is not stationary and you should not be stationary either. You can move with grace, staying in the eye as it moves across the land. Those not willing to move with the eye will be swept up in the storms path as it passes through.

Stay focused on moving ever forward.

Stay focused on being the island of calm when the world is in a panic around you.

Seek new solutions, new ways of doing things, and imagining how you can serve others at your highest level.

Imagine things that you have never imagined before.

Dare to dream BIG!

Then, dare to dream even BIGGER!

Pull out ideas from your squirrel file. Things that you had previously though were distractions to your mission. See if these ideas fit the new landscape the storm is leaving in it’s path. If they do, don’t hesitate. Do it now!

Being in the eye of the storm your vision is clear. Your mission will evolve. You’re life will be suspended in time if only for a moment allowing you to see a new path.

This new path will be visible only of you become the eye of the storm.

Are you ready to step into it?

Are you ready to step out of the chaos swirling in the powerful winds that are the storm into the eye?

Are you ready to truly become the eye of the storm?

I know it’s a little scary out there.

If you need to, take my hand and I will pull you in to the safety of the eye.

Although, I really don’t think you need my help.

My faith in you and the power within you gives me the confidence to know that you are: Ready, Willing, and Able

To be the Eye of the Storm.

Buiding Strong Foundations

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 03:06:00 GMT

Thirty years ago I owned a beautiful house overlooking Candlewood Lake in Connecticut. The house sat on the top of a hill on a point that jutted into the lake. While we did not have any lakefront property we had a magnificent view from neary every window, of the lake.

Unlike many of the lakefront houses that were summer cotteges that would be closed up for the winter this was a year round house.

The stone foundation and rough hewn brown siding with yellow shutters blended perfectly with the environment.

Inside the walls were covered with tongue and groove knotty pine boards. Their warm amber glow made it feel cozy even on the coldest winter day. The stone fireplace in the center of the house went three stories up through the cathedral ceiling.

The ceiling…now that was the problem.

The ceiling was just the open roof beams covered by the roof sheething. There was no insulation which resulted in all the heat going right out through the roof. We were effectively heating the outdoors.

My father decided that it was time to take care of that problem and I volunteered to assist him.

My dad was an engineer. He approched every project with a plan. That is one of the reasons I became The Crisis Planner, as I too am a planner.

We arrived at the lakehouse ready to tackle the job.

We unloaded the truck with all the tools we would need for the job.

Next we needed to go to the local Rickles ( now I really am dating myself ) to pick up supplies.

I expected to bring home a truck full of insulation.

I was surprised to see my dad in the lumber yard picking out a massive amount of lumber.

12 ft long boards of many sizes soon filled the truck. 4x4’s, 2x8’s, 2x4’s and 1x4’s.

What in the world was my dad doing.

I didn’t say a word. I hoped that he knew what he was doing. I wanted to believed he knew what he was doing. After all, he did built the house that I had grown up in. I have to admit I was a bit confused as there was not even one bail of insulation to be found.

We arrived at the house, unloaded the lumber and went inside.

Once we were inside, my dad unfolded a piece of paper with a sketch on it.

It was only when I looked at the sketch that I understood.

We were to be working on a ceiling nearly 25 ft above our heads.

In order to do so we needed a platform to work on.

We needed a scaffold, a sturdy foundation that would be safe to work on for the duration of the project.

The planning and care that went into constructing that scaffold really was the most important part of the project. Without the scaffold everything would have been more difficult if not impossible to complete. Without the scaffold it would not have been safe to work so high up.

The foundation of the project was something I had never considered before we started. I never imagined a scaffold in my vision of the project. I am glad my father did.

How often do we embark on a new project without considering the foundation? We have all seen houses built on faulty foundations slide down mountains or be washed away by the sea.

There are essential foundations in every aspect of our lives and business.

Foundations that make the difference between success, frustration and failure.

The simplest foundation may be something that grounds us to our day.

How do you start your day? Have you noticed if your morning routine is disrupted your whole day can be off. If you oversleep, you may not feel put together all day. If a crisis distracts you, your reaction may surprise you and actually add to the chaos.

In that case, your foundation for the day needs a reset. The amazing thing is that it is possible to reset your foundation and get your day back on track. You just need to pause, breath and create a new starting point.

I’ve looked at the foundations of long lasting marriges. My parents were married for 65 years. They met during WWII. My dad a G.I. from Green Bay, Wisconsin and my mom singing at the U.S.O. were set up on a blind date, They fell in love, got engaged and my dad was shipped out to Europe. They were married shortly after he gratefully returned from the war.

My dad never forgot the foundation of their love, every year on October 12th a bouquet of flowers would appear commemorating their first date. My mom was always surprised, yet he never forgot.

At their grand-daughters wedding they were the last couple dancing the anniversary waltz, having been married the longest of all the attendees.

The MC asked them to share the secret to their long marriage.

My mother replied, “Never go to bed angry.” My father added, “Spend a lot of time in bed!” Everyone laughed. But there is so much wisdom and truth in their words.

It speaks to the foundation of relationships!

Mostly unseen and hidden from view foundations are the strength upon which everything else is built. Foundations are what you build your home, your family, your relationships and your business on.

· What is the condition of your foundations?

· Are they solid and strong, able to weather the inevitable crises of life?

· Are they serving you today as they served you in the past?

Foundations are not something that you build once and forget about. They need to be inspected, maintained, repaired and even rebuilt. Sometimes a foundation that has served you no longer does and it is time to move on. Is it time to build a new foundation to stand on?

Just as we built the scaffold to work on the ceiling of the lakehouse.

Subsequent trips to the hardward store filled the truck with insulation, lauan plywood, 2x4’s for decorative beams, gallons of paint and stain, nails, paint brushes, rollers, pans and poles.

We spent a week working on the solid foundation of that scaffold.

The job done, we disassembled the scaffold, our foundation for the work was no longer needed.

The completed ceiling looked beautiful.

It was time to move on to new projects with new foundations.

Life is like that.

Our foundations can change. That is all okay, as long as you recognize that with each change you will start with a new foundation.

Life can sometimes shake you off your foundation. When I lost my gentle giant, the love of my life three years ago my foundation colapsed beneath me.

I built a new foundation to replace that one, a foundation of gratitude, legacy and service to others that is solid once again beneath my feet.

I am standing tall on my new foundation knowing that all I do is solidly grounded in JOY and LOVE!

Take the time to build your foundations. Knowing that the time you spend building them will serve you well as long as they are needed...

Finding Your Christmas Spirit

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 03:00:00 GMT

Christmas Spirit is not always easily found - My husband struggled to find his every year. Too many years with mom in the hospital, Too many years far away from his family, Too many years of poor health, Have taken a toll on his life, And stolen his Christmas Spirit...

Too often, he sat quietly in his chair, A bystander, watching as I frantically decorated, baked, and shopped. He’d help print our Christmas cards, And watch Christmas movies, But, only rarely was he happy. He’d listen to the Christmas music, But, he could not find joy within it... This year was no different,

A new health challenge, Resulted in Kidney Failure. Now, tied to a machine for four hours, three times a week. It was just another reason to be frustrated and angry. Another Christmas season, Christmas Spirit nowhere to be found...

Somewhere buried deep inside, His Christmas Spirit was trying to rise. Christmas music and Movies brought tears to his eyes. He wanted to do something for the people, That take care of him at dialysis. Something special, for those that are there for him, Three times a week, every week...

He decided to bake. Now, baking is not something he usually does. He found recipes for Cranberry bread and Date Nut bread, And Saturday before Christmas, he baked. The Christmas music playing loudly, The smell of beautiful breads filled the house. Baked, packed and wrapped they were ready to go...

Sunday morning dialysis at five AM, A holiday week schedule, Things were not going well. There was a screamer in the unit that did not want to be there, The staff was grumpy and stressed, His fellow patients were quietly enduring their treatments, And Christmas Spirit was nowhere to be found...

He opened the box, sitting next to him, Revealing the breads, tied up with red and green ribbon. He handed one to each staff member. He wished them a Merry Christmas, And thanked them, for taking such good care of him. He watched, as the frowns turn into smiles, And eyes sparkled with delight...

He then passed out breads to his fellow patients, Once again, he watched as the smiles grew bigger and bigger, As each talked of how they would share it with their spouse, Or devourer it, slathered in butter, all by themselves. Then, something magical happened. The staff turned on the Christmas music, And there was laughter and smiles all around...

My husband came home happy and smiling. He had set out to do something nice for those around him. He had expected nothing in return, But, something else happened. The universe gave him something back, Something he missed, Something he had lost along the way...

There it was, That warm wonderful familiar feeling. He couldn’t stop smiling, And, he didn’t want to stop smiling, As the true meaning of Christmas, Bloomed inside him, And with that, He found his Christmas Spirit at last...

As we enter the last month of the year, we are thrust into a frenzy of activities full of emotion.

We focus on the things we feel we need to do, some we want to do, and some we feel we have to do to. Do we also take the time to focus on the joy and happiness of the holiday season?

Finding our Christmas Spirit extends well beyond Christmas. It starts with truly giving thanks at our national celebration of Thanksgiving. It includes the celebration of Hanukkah, Kwanza, December Solstice and Yule, and New Year Eve.

December is the darkest month in the northern hemisphere with December 21st the shortest day of sunlight.

It would have been so easy to sink into depression with so much darkness around us. Instead, we choose to celebrate, to bring friends and family close to us. We decorate and brighten the darkness with traditions of light, music, giving, connection, and peace.

We take the time to celebrate making it through another year around the sun. We mourn those lost and rejoice in those born. We cement memories of days past and create new dreams for our future days.

This time of year, it is most important to be present. I mean truly be present. It’s not about the presents we receive.

It’s about the things we give to others. It is this time of year that charities receive the bulk of their donations.

Why is that?

Our Christmas Spirit is found in the giving to others. Even those with the least to give find ways to be part of the greater Christmas Spirit of Giving.

The holidays give all of us permission to open our hearts and pocketbooks and give for a greater purpose than serving oneself.

I have seen people take off their own coat and give it to someone freezing on the street without a coat.

When you donate socks to the homeless, provide a holiday meal for a family, buy a toy for a child, donate to a pet shelter, or volunteer at a soup kitchen you are giving so much more than that material comfort. You are telling that person that you see them.

You are telling them that you care. You are telling them that they are deserving of love.

When you sing in a choir, participate in a holiday pageant, decorate your town tree, sing together the songs of the season, or wear festive clothing you are saying to the world I believe in something special. I believe in something bigger than me.

The reality is that Christmas Spirit is bigger than you or I.

When you feel it. When you truly feel it, it like being struck by an energy surge that starts with a warm inner glow and explodes into a kaleidoscope of light and good feelings toward everyone and everything.

Once ignited it stays with you. You feel an inner happiness and joy. Everything seems brighter, tastes better, and feels better. The sights, sounds, and smells rekindle memories.

Some of you, like my husband, may have a hard time finding your Christmas Spirit.

Believe that it is always there even if you can’t feel it yet. If you open your heart and mind you will find it. I know, I watched it happen every year.

Maybe it was the Christmas music. Maybe it was dressing up as Santa for a Christmas party. Maybe it was just the positive energy around the season that finally broke through.

If Ebenezer Scrooge could find his Christmas spirit I know you can too.

Whatever holiday you celebrate, we can come together in the true spirit of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, December Solstice and Yule, and New Year Eve.

A season of HOPE. A season of FAITH. A season of GIVING. A season of LOVE.

May we celebrate together with PEACE ON EARTH, GOOD WILL TOWARD ALL..

Six Golden Rules for a Positive Life

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 02:56:00 GMT

We all have Golden Rules we live by. Some of us have them written down. Some of us just know what’s right and wrong. We develop these rules from things we learn from our parents, teachers, and mentors. These are the undeniable truths of our lives.

I invite you to ask yourself the following questions:

· What are the Golden Rules I live by?

· Why are they important to me?

· Who did I learn them from?

· How do these rules provide the guiderails of my life?

· How am I a better person through these Golden Rules?

I would like to share my 6 Golden Rules from a rather unusual source.

By now you know I am a lover of Golden Retrievers. My precious Duffy is the sixth golden in my life. Each of my goldens has gifted me with a golden rule to live by.

The lst golden in my life came as part of a package deal. Tabetha was my soon to be husband Stan’s 1st love. She was his sideick, companion, and best friend until I entered his life.

I had never been a dog owner before. My parents did have a crazy poodle named Puffy though I was never responsible for the care and feeding of him.

Tabetha adopted me immediately. Her ability to see the good and love in people was uncanny.

She loved the water and fearlessly leaped from boats and docks and into pools with a splash to enjoy the cool water on a hot summer day.

She was fearless… Once we were out in East Marion on the north fork of Long Island. We opened the car door and she could see the Long Island Sound. She took off, making a beeline straight for the water.

She never saw the 25ft cliff as she ran right off it, falling into the tangled bramble below.

We were sure we watched her die. As we ran to the edge of the cliff we heard rustling in the bramble below and miraculasly she emerged at the top of hill shaken but not detered.

We walked her down the path to the water where she jumped right in.

Golden Rule #1: Sometimes we make mistakes. When you do pick yourself up, brush yourself off and keep going. It will be worth it.

When tabetha crossed the rainbow bridge it left a gaping hole in our hearts. We knew only another Golden Retriver would fill.

Dutchess was a Christmas Puppy. My first puppy. Luckily Stan knew what to do to train her. She adored Stan and she went to work with him every day at the pring shop.

Dutchess also loved the water. When my friends watched her while we went on our first European vacation they took Dutchess and their three male Goldens on their boat for the week. We come home to a photo album of Dutchess on vacation. She looked to be saying Na,Na, Na, Na, Na. I’m having a good time without you.

She had a keen sense of protecting you from danger. When my friend brought their newborn to the house for a visit she stategically stood between the baby and the psychologist as if to say you are not going to screw this one up.

She was our life guard for the annual Pool Party Pig Roast. One time she pulled my friends 3-year old from the pool when her shreaking for joy made Dutches think she was in trouble.

Golden Rule #2: Pay attention and use your intuition.

One day Stan and Duchess were at the print shop and a customer came in. He had a dilemma.

He had given his 82 year-old mom a Golden Retriver puppy for Christmas. The puppy was too much fo her to handle. Would Stan be intersted in a second?

We rescured Bailey from his situation and Dutchess welcomed him into the family and they became best friends. Bailey was off to a rocky start as he was not well trained. We had two names for him. Bailey when he was good and Bin Laden, when he was bad.

Bailey was smart as a whip and taught himself to swim underwater. He would drop his toy in the pool, watch it sink to the bottom then dive in, swim underwater, and retrieve the toy. He started in the shallow end of the pool but ultimatly dove down 8-feet off the diving board in the deep end. He was always pushing his limits.

Golden Rule #3: Always keep learning

When Dutchess crossed the rainbow bridge at 14 years-old Bailey was lost without her. We decided we would rescue our next companion for Bailey.

Max joined our family, a big, fluffy, overweight golden 7 years-old. He had been mistreated but had a sweet disposition in spite of it.

He would steal the dishtowel, sponge, or washcloth and play hide and seek under the dining room table. He had a thing for underware and could chew the crotch out a pair of panties in 2 seconds.

He was a big lumbering clown who made you laugh. You could not stay angry at him because he was so cute.

He was only with us for 10 months when he crossed the rainbow bridge. We were comforted that we had made the last 10 months of his life happy and full of love and he had made us laugh and laugh.

Golden Rule #4: Laughter is the best medicine.

Once again Bailey was all alone. He missed having a playmate. Driving home from work I passed sign on the side of the road “Golden Retriver Puppies”. Come on Stan lets have a look. We’ll just look at them. My mother-in-law was visiting and she said yes lets look…Ha! Of course we fell in love and had to say yes.

We brought Bristol home just before Cristmas. Bristol and Bailey together helped Stan get thought numerous health issues. They were his nurses and helped him heal following back surgeries and heart attacks. They were there to comfort him when his kidneys failed and he had to go on dialysis.

Bailey and Bristol kept him company when I was working and covered him with sloppy kisses when he was down. They were a reason for him to keep living.

Golden Rule #5: Love can give you the courage to go on when you want to give up.

Bailey passed away at 15 leaving Bristol to take care of Daddy for one year all by himself. When Stan passed I was so grateful to have Bristol. He was there for me, curled up next to my in bed at night, greeting me at the door when I came in and reminding me to laugh.

It was nearly 5 years that Bristol was an only dog. Before I knew it he was 10 years-old. I loved having two goldens so I happily added Duffy to my family this past December. I had never raised a puppy by myself before. I was not toatlly prepared for how much work it would be but it didn’t matter as it was totally worth it.

Three weeks after bringing Duffy home Bristol was diagnosed with Lymphoma. He crossed the rainbow bridge six months later in June. He was a wonderful teacher and helped Duffy learn the dos and don’ts.

Duffy is a wonderful loving companion. I can’t imagine my life without a golden in it.

He makes me laugh, he kisses my tears away and he loves me unconditionally.

Golden Rule #6: Unconditional Love is the greatest gift, Open your heart and receive it without hesitation

That is my TAIL of 6 Goldens in my life. New chapters are still being written The Golden Rules they have taught me are with me forever in my heart as a joy filled way of living.

Dogs bring so much into your life. They truly are a gift from God… Angels without wings who’s ony mission is LOVE…

Finding Joy In Little Things

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 02:48:00 GMT

I am blessed to live on Long Island where we have a unique road system of parkways built in the 50’s. These parkways were designed for a leisurely Sunday afternoon drive to one of the many State Parks on Long Island. There are no trucks allowed on the parkways and until recently even pick-up trucks were not allowed if they had commercial plates.

Over the years what was designed for leisure became an essential network of roads used daily by commuters. Speed limits were increased to 55 MPH from 45.

Cloverleafs were added after the fact making for some heart stopping merges and decelerations on very short almost non-existent ramps some with 15 MPH speed limits to negotiate the very tight turns. I am always grateful for the friendly wave of another motorist letting me merge.

Grateful too, for the road repair crew that fills the tire eating potholes. I wonder how many victims they claimed before they were filled. While the inevitable delays cause consternation for many they offer an opportunity to observe some of the little things along the way.

If giving a choice I will always choose the parkway vs the Long Island Expressway with it’s many trucks and tractor trailers and often huge traffic jams. Not that the parkway is immune from traffic somehow it seems less stressful as it is a totally different environment. While the scenic route may not save me a lot of time, it always makes the journey more pleasant. I arrive at my destination in a far better mood having taken the road less traveled.

These picturesque winding roads with their stone bridges are lined with beautiful trees and shrubs. The parade of spring colors from the forsythia, apple and cherry trees brings me such delight as I drive from place to place.

This week I noticed that the grass along the parkway was greening up after the long winters nap. That was not the only thing that was awakening. The grass was sporting its usual bumper crop of bright yellow Dandelions.

Before you start a rant calling them weeds that must be destroyed, think about this. Dandelions are one of the first flowers of spring. They are also one of the few flowers that have both nectar and pollen essential for the bees early in the season.

I giggle as I sometimes see old men on the side of the road picking the yellow flowers to make Dandelion wine. My own father was one of those men during his winemaking days. Even my father-in-law had done the same thing, if only one time. I can remember the sweet taste of the wine and wonder if the tradition will continue as more and more people are speeding by and not taking the time to even see or appreciate the simple Dandelion.

It seems that one moment there is a sea of yellow and the next moment the flowers have turned into magical puff balls dispersing the seeds to dance on the spring breeze for the next crop of Dandelions. How many of us have made wishes before blowing a Dandelion puff into the wind.

I marvel at how nature has adapted. The tall curved light poles have become vantage points for an increasing number of Red Tail Hawks. They wait and the watch for their next meal to venture out on the grass. Swooping down on an unwitting chipmunk, mouse, or rabbit I marvel at their agility as their wings and tail maneuver with grace and elegance.

The spring rain brings the worms to the surface as Robins gleefully pull them out of the ground and bring them to their hidden nests for their new hatchlings.

The parkway brings me past a pond filled with Canadian Geese or even a pair of snow- white swans. Both species mate for life. I am sad to see a lone sentry standing watch and wonder what happened to his or her mate.

I smile as I catch a glimpse of the new brood of fuzzy yellow babies. I worry that they seem too close to the road then feel relief when mama and papa herd them back to the safely of the pond and the bushes surrounding it.

The swans sit on their messy nest in the middle of the pond awaiting the hatching of their “ugly ducklings” reminding me of the much-loved children’s storybook.

I’ve seen rabbits, woodchucks, wild turkeys, and deer.

The most amazing thing I ever saw was an albino deer standing proudly on an embankment. From a distance I thought it was a goat and was confused as to why a goat would be on a roadside on Long Island. It was only as I got closer that I saw it was a stately buck with a beautiful eight point rack of antlers.

If you drive on the Ocean Parkway or out by Robert Moses State Park you will see plenty of deer. I once saw spotted triplet fawns with their mom as they came out to feed at dusk. I wonder where they were hiding during the day in the low growing beach pines and shrubs.

I often would take the Ocean Parkway to bypass traffic when coming home from Long Beach. In the off season you could drive its entire length without seeing another car. A single parking lot would be open and sometimes I would stop to watch the sunset basking in the pink and gold of a winter sky. Weather permitting, I would open the windows and sun-roof so I could smell the ocean and hear its roar as the waves crashed on the white sand.

This past Sunday I took a drive and was happy to see the pairs of Osprey were already sitting on eggs in their lofty nests built on man made towers. I also saw that the bluebird nesting boxes were once again being placed inviting our state bird to once again be abundant.

Seagulls danced in the wind and cried out with joy. White caps driven by the wind filled the Great South Bay. It was not a great day for boating and I did not see even one sailor brave enough to venture out into the cold and wind of the day.

I am so grateful that I see the little things around me.

What little things do you see?

· Things that make you smile.

· Things that can take your breath away.

· Things that remind you to slow down.

· Things that can reduce the stress in your life.

Or are you so busy, moving so quickly that you don’t take the time to see the magic that surrounds you in a million little things.

Finding joy in the little things makes life worth living. Big things happen infrequently. Our days can be filled with so many things to do, setbacks, and things going wrong that we miss the little things around us that go right.

Take a moment, breathe deeply, and step back from the chaos and focus on something small and beautiful in your day. Do this every day. Do this multiple times a day and your outlook on life can totally change.

· Sing along to your favorite music. Sing loudly, sing badly, just sing and it will fill your heart.

· Laugh at ourselves when things go wrong or when they go right. We seem to have lost our sense of humor and I want it back.

· Find something to be grateful for in every task, encounter, setback, and success and say Thank You out loud.

· Make and recall memories using all of your senses. See it happening, listen and truly hear the words, stop and smell the roses, feel the warm sand between your toes as you walk on the beach, and taste the foods of your youth, ethnicity, and holiday traditions.

· Bask in the glow of a beautiful full moon. Marvel at its brightness. Know that it is there for you to see and appreciate.

Just some of the little things in which you can find your joy.

These little things are the daily reminder that you are alive.

Live each day and take the time to notice the little things in your life…

The Gift Of Self Love

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 02:43:00 GMT

February 14th Valentine’s Day. The day we celebrate LOVE. Everyone wants to love and be loved on Valentine’s Day and every day of the year. Yet many of us are feeling alone and unloved especially on this day.

What happened to leave us feeling this way?

More importantly, what can we do to change the way we are feeling and how can we bring more LOVE into our lives?

The reality is that only we can change the way we feel about things. It’s not about what has happened to us that is important.

What is important is what are we able to do about it now.

As a widow I feel the emptyness of missing my soulmate. Missing how loved I felt when wrapped in his arms. Instead of feeling sad I take the time to say thank you for having been so loved for 28 years. I have been so blessed by the love of my sweet gentle giant.

I am keenly aware that all love starts with me. As it has in the past, is in the present and will be in the future.

I am currently having a love affair with me…

Today I am standing in front of the mirror. I take time to reflect on the image staring back at me. In that reflection I see my naked body in it’s full splendor. I counsciously take in every inch of me without criticism to celebrate the beautiful uniqness of me.

This is not “The Mirror” we’ve seen advertised of late, where a leotard clad perfect body admonishis us to do one more rep. They shout at you and cojole you to become something you think you should be.

This is just an ordinary full length mirror.

I am taking the time to love me just as I am and invite you to see what I see.

I see my father blue eyes looking back at me so full of wisdom. They are surrounded by happy smile lines reflecting so many joyfilled experiences of my life. Just looking at them makes me smile.

The smile reveals the dimples in my cheeks, a gift from my mom reminding me I am missing her every day still.

My eyebrows may be thinning and grey, but I can still raise the right one in a quizical manner. One raised eyebrow was something I learned to do in college just because I thought it looked cool.

I love how my long hair gently falls on my shoulders and moves with me soft and gracefully.

The bangs I’ve worn most of my life cover an almost invisable scar on my forehead from a strawberry birthmark removed when I was two. They also hide any forehead wrinkles I might have. Ha ha!

I see the small scar on my earlobe where my earring tore through and required a repair so that I could once again wear my favorite earrings.

The skin on my neck is not bad either. Years of sunscreen use and sun avoidance have minimized the damage the sun can do. Though I am not without a few sun spots each one earned and reminding me of the wonderful years living in the Marshall Islands and scuba diving around the world.

My left wrist has a distictive curve from a broken wrist the result of being run over by a herd of 6 Golden Retrivers, 2 of which were my own. I stepped into the path of their joyful full bore running and went flying in air. Of course I was covered with dog kisses when I hit the ground.

My left hand bares the scar of a box cutter, when I forgot my safety for a split second resulting in 2 severed tendens and 46 stitches.

Right now both of my hands are sporting several scabs and scratches from my new puppy’s needle sharp teeth. Playing with Duffy is so much fun I don’t even remember when they happened.

I look at my breasts, while not as perky as they once were. I am grateful that I have them. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at 73 and following a mastectomy was a 20 year surviror. I count my blessings and do my mamograms.

My belly is round and soft and my butt jiggles a bit. I giggle knowing that I released 46 lbs this year and know that my walking routine has tighted both and I have found my waist once again. Something I happily celebrate.

I am loving the space between my thighs and my baggy knees. I’m no Tina Turner that’s for sure. This is my body and I am celebrating every part of it. There is a small scar on my right knee from a bicycle mishap on the bluestoned street. I remember pulling bluestone out of that knee on many occasions.

I love my ankles, even if they have turned on me many times. Sprained, possibly even broken but never casted. I find I am now in love with flat shoes. They keep me connected to solid ground. Heels no longer serve me or my knees for that matter.

I look with pity at my mangled twisted toes. How many times have I broken them? Stubbed them here or there, found the wheel of a bedframe, the corner of a suitcase or turned them backwards. I once dropped a chair on the two middle toes resulting in them looking like 2 black olives. They may not be beautiful but I am loving the silver nailpolish and pampering of a pedicure they are sporting right now.

I am loving myself in this reflection. My body is it’s own journel of my life.

Your body is too,

What does your journel tell you?

Take the time to love the stretch marks of your pregnancies and/or the C-section scars that celebrate you bringing new life into the world. Look at your mastectomy scars and rejoyce that you are here to celebrate another day.

Each and every one of those perfect imperfections make you special and unique.

Every line on your face, curve and fold of you body, spot on your skin and hair on your head is a beatiful part of you.

Use your mirror as a no judgment zone. Stop seeing what you don’t like and start seeing what makes you beautiful.

Many of the most important parts of you are not seen in the physical sense. Your spirit, kindness and giving heart is seen only in a beautiful peaceful glow radiating from you in your reflection.

What do you see?

Who do you see?

What do you want to see?

Learning to love yourself is a great gift.

I want to remind you how beautiful you are.

You are worthy of love and that love starts with you loving you…

P.S. This message is for everyone: man, woman, trans, gay, lesbian, old, young, healthy, frail, disabled, fat, thin, confident, and insecure. I invite you to stand naked in front of your own mirror and see your beauty. Learning to love yourself is freeing you to be loved.

Life's A Beach

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 02:36:00 GMT

Everything is better at the Beach.

Did you know that 40% of the US population lives in coastal counties?

That’s 127 million people equivalent to the population of Japan.

That does not include those that have easy access to lakes, rivers, and streams.

No matter where you live there are countless opportunities throughout this country to go to and enjoy an endless variety of beaches from the tiny to vast stretches of sand.

I love the beach. Not for baking in the sun, as I burn like a crispy critter and often look like a moveable tent with my hat, long sleeves, and long coverups, when I go to the beach.

If I am not tanning at the beach, why do I love it so?

Growing up on Long Island I am surrounded by some of the most beautiful beaches in the world.

I may be biased, and you may claim that your beach is the best but consider the number and variety of beach choices we have here. We have the white sugar sands of our barrier beaches from the Hamptons to Fire Island, Jones Beach, Long Beach, and Rockaway.

We have the little coves and beaches on the Great South Bay and Peconic Bay.

We have the rocky shores on the Long Island Sound some with high cliffs and bluffs that allow you to see all the way to Connecticut.

There are historic light houses commissioned by George Washington at Montauk and Horton’s Point. We fought to save the lighthouse on Fire Island that now houses a museum. Their lights and fog horns saved many ships over the years.

There are boardwalks in some locations for sunrise and sunset strolls for people of all ages and abilities.

There are nature walks with hidden treasures at every turn from Sunken Forests, to nesting areas of endangered wildlife. There are deer, rabbits, and Osprey nests. Bluebird nesting boxes are bringing our state bird back to the beach.

Wild beach roses abound but, be careful of the Poison Ivy which is also in abundance.

We have miles of wild ocean surf and sand dunes that you can walk along listening to the waves.

I love the feel the cool ocean spray on my skin, the way the air smells of salt and seaweed.

Everyday is different at the beach. Sometimes the ocean is calm and small wavelets whisper to me as I walk. Sometimes the ocean roars like thunder as huge waves break one after another on the sand.

I listen to the sound of the surf. There is a rhythm and cadence in the waves. If you close your eyes, you can feel it pulsing within you.

It’s like a soothing baseline of a song that is both familiar and unique at the same time.

I love the feel of the sand between my toes. My heals create divots in the soft sand as I walk to the water.

Hot sand becomes cooler as you transition from dry to wet. The waves wash over my feet. Each wave takes a bit of the sand supporting me out to sea as my feet sink deeper and deeper into the sand.

The wet sand is firmer and easier to walk on.

I watch the little sand crabs run to their burrows as each wave comes in only to emerge again when the wave pulls away.

I look for seashells that are unoccupied and sometimes find egg cases from egg laying sharks tangled in the seaweed.

The light catches the silhouette of jellyfish in the wave face. I make a mental note. Beware of the jellyfish sting as it can ruin the day.

There are pieces of driftwood smoothed by the waves. If you are lucky the ocean will reveal a piece of a ship sunk long ago, when you walk on the beach after a storm.

Treasure seekers are out with their metal detectors combing the beach for trinkets old and new.

The seagulls dance on the wind and cry with delight. They say it’s good luck to have a seagull decorate you with it’s droppings. I can’t say I have had that pleasure but, one day my friend was decorated 3 times. Truly lucky indeed…

The seagulls are brazenly trying to steal my food. They move in ever closer. In a bold move one distracts me while another grabs the chip bag and flies away with it followed by the mob.

Just like the ocean the air is always moving. The onshore or offshore breeze makes it 10 to 15 degrees cooler at the beach. I love the feel of the breeze on my face even as my hair becomes a tangled mess. I tuck it under my hat, it feels damp and salty even if I have not been in the water.

Getting into the water at the beach is about strategy. You can dive right in and allow the cold shock to be over all at one time. The ocean never gets warm on Long Island. Me I usually go in little by little allowing each part of me to adjust to the temperature before taking another step.

Slowly by surely, I move deeper and deeper until the ocean decides, enough already and a big wave finishes the job.

Now it’s time to jump with the waves and maybe do some body surfing. I feel the pull of the wave as it is building and start swimming allowing my body to be picked up pushed forward to the shore.

As I sit in the wash after the wave is finished. I feel the sand in my bathing suit and watch carefully as the next wave comes to shore using it to lift me back into a standing position or find myself knocked down again and again.

I am here to remind you to never turn your back on the ocean as it will surely surprise you if you do.

With all the amazing sights and sounds you can find at the beach. One of my favorites is watching the sunset. Depending on where you are it may be the sunrise that delights you.

At sunset, the sun seems to melt into the ocean, a sizzling fireball turning the sky pink, fuchsia, and gold. The seagulls are silhouettes against the beautiful sky. The color is reflected in the ocean a mirror of the sky.

It is a perfect ending to a perfect day.

I sadly pack up my things and walk back to my car.

I am recharged.

I am at peace.

Because I spent time at the beach connecting with myself and nature.

At the beginning of this summer, I realized that I only went to the beach once last year.

I decided that was not acceptable and made a commitment to go at least 2 times every month.

Going to the beach is not limited to the summertime. In fact, some of the best times at the beach are in the offseason. There are fewer people, less distracting noise from cell phones, and an opportunity to see the beach in a pristine wild state that comes with fall and even winter storms.

I ask you:

Ø When was the last time you played hooky and went to the beach?

Ø When was the last time you walked barefoot in the sand?

Ø When was the last time you took out your beach chair or beach bag and shook out the sand from your last beach visit and asked how did the sand get in there?

Ø When was the last time you watched the fog roll in and felt the cool mist on your face?

Ø When was the last time you felt the sand carried by the wind sandblasting you as you watched the waves?

Ø When was the last time you went to the beach?

Isn’t it time for you to go again?

Yes, yes, yes now is the time.

It’s time to get your life affirming dose of sand, salt, and sea.

Time to connect with nature and feed your heart and soul.

What are you waiting for?

Life’s a Beach!

New School Shoes

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 02:29:00 GMT

September is here and It’s back to school across the country. Some areas may start a little earlier and some not until after Labor Day. Everyone is back to school in September.

Dressing for success started with the first day of school. While my mom sewed most of our clothes growing up. Our back-to-school outfit was always special. It was store bought.

I fondly remember shopping for that first day of school outfit. It had to be perfect. Be it a dress or a skirt and blouse ensemble it even included new underwear and socks.

I also remember shopping for new shoes. It was time to be fitted properly at Buster Browns shoes for sturdy shoes. As I entered 6th grade and middle school, this is where the battle began.

My mom was always concerned that I had a tendency to walk a bit pigeon-toed and believed that I was best served with sturdy tie shoes. They were clunky and ugly. Some years they were brown, some years black and I never liked them. In fact, you might even say I hated them.

I was not given a choice, nor was I asked if I even liked them. They were the shoes I was going to wear to school. In those days sneakers were canvas Keds and worn only for gym class.

In elementary school this had not been such an issue. The year I was to go into middle school I balked. I desperately wanted Penny Loafers. I begged! I pleaded! I cried! In the end we came home with those awful tie shoes. I might have been appeased with saddle shoes but that was not even an option with my mom. She did not want to deal with the constant polishing of the white on the saddle shoe and that was that.

In my disappointment I hatched a plan.

A couple of days before the start of school, I put on my new back-to-school shoes, got on my bike, and dragged the toes in the dirt and gravel destroying the entire front of the shoes. The leather had huge holes in it and was beyond repair.

I was sure my plan would work. I concocted a story that I fell off my bike and that’s how the shoes were ruined. That might have flown if it had only been one shoe but both shoes were evenly destroyed.

My stunt did not go over very well with my mom. It took everything she had to control her anger with me. Shoes were not cheap. We did not have a lot of money and now I had destroyed them.

· What was she going to do?

· How could she teach me a lesson?

· What would my punishment be?

She decided that I would go back to school wearing the shoes I had just destroyed. I was humiliated not only by having to wear the shoes I despised but now they were even uglier with the toes all torn up making me look like a total ragamuffin.

She made me realize that she was smarter than I thought she was and that she was still in charge even if I thought I was more grown up than I really was.

A week later we were back at the shoe store. This time I did get my Penny Loafers. I was so happy as I put shinny new pennies in the leather slots. I happily went to school the second week with my new school shoes.

By the end of the week, I discovered that there was pain to getting what you want as I was sporting huge blisters on the back of my heels. There was indeed a learning curve to wearing Penny Loafers. A price I was willing to pay to feel dressed for success.

She had taught me a valuable lesson. I learned that it was important to take care of my things even if they were not exactly what I wanted now and that sometimes when you get what you think you want there is a price to pay.

As a society we have become more and more casual in the way we dress.

Parents still buy back-to-school clothes for their kids. The clothing is very utilitarian. Kids play in the same clothes they go to school in. Jeans, leggings, sweatpants, shorts, t-shirts, even belly shirts are worn routinely. I rarely see girls in dresses and skirts or boys in chinos these days.

· Are these casual clothes setting the stage for academic success?

· Are we teaching our children the proper mindset for learning in school as the outside is a reflection of the inside?

· Have we created a culture where the label is more important than wearing something appropriate?

· Are we allowing our children to wear age-inappropriate clothing to school?

· Has clothing and shoe status ignited even more bullying in school?

Private schools, charter schools, and schools around the world often have children wear school uniforms. This is a form of dressing for success that eliminates socio-economic, racial, and ethnic differences and creates an environment for academic achievement. School uniforms are something that is not universally accepted in the US even if it would simplify things for parents and kids.

When I was in school, we were not allowed to wear pants to school let alone jeans. Things changed when I was a Senior in High School. They were doing major construction at the school which had all the hallways open to the outside. It was freezing cold in the school and they allowed the girls to wear pants for the first time. Still no jeans.

I went away to college with a closet full of wool pants and skirts with matching sweaters, only to end up wearing 5 button bell bottom jeans with frayed bottoms, t-shirts, and an army jacket.

Once I entered the workforce, there was an expected dress code of what was acceptable or not acceptable. I briefly worked in an office before moving into outside sales. I quickly learned that people decide if they will do business with you in the first 5 seconds based on how you look.

How you dress in a business environment signals your confidence and competence at the same time. It does not matter if you are beautiful. It does not matter if you are tall or short. It does not matter if you a thin or curvy. It does not matter where you live, what color you are or your religious or ethnic background.

What does matter is that you are dressed for success in neat, clean, appropriate attire, your hair and nails are clean, and most importantly you wear a smile that invites others to want to do business with you.

Dressing for success shows others that you care about them because you take care of yourself. If you show up for a business meeting with stains on your shirt or tie, unpolished shoes, or badly wrinkled clothes the person you are meeting with will wonder if you will show the same disregard for the details in any project you are working on with them. They may question your commitment to excellence. They may say no even if your proposal is exactly what they are looking for.

From my prospective I currently run my own business and work from home. I find that if I stay in my PJ’s all day I am not nearly as productive as I am when I get dressed as if I were going to meet with a client.

When I go on a zoom, I am most engaged when I take a few minutes to put on a nice shirt, some jewelry, comb my hair, and put on some makeup even if it is only lipstick. On video I make sure to smile and nod, engage in chat and emoji comments. It is the respectful thing to do. If I look like a mess, I turn off my video and end up multitasking instead of paying attention.

I don’t know about you, but I have power outfits that I wear when making big presentations or speaking. They are the clothes that I feel project the image of confidence and competence necessary to get and keep attention of my audience or client.

What are you communicating by the way you dress to go out to engage your clients?

Take a moment to consider how the way you look makes you feel about yourself.

I’m sure you have had the moment when you are out shopping at the grocery store or Costco when you run into someone you know from business, school, or charity work and you look like who done it and ran. I always want to run and hide, embarrassed and amazed that they even recognized me.

I am happy that many of the traditions from my family are tied to how we are dressed. We dress up for the holidays. We wear party clothes from Hawaiian Shirts for Bar-b-ques, Dirndl and Lederhosen for Octoberfest and of course Green for St Patrick’s.

Dressing for success is all about wearing the right costume at the right time. It’s not about being overdressed or underdressed both situations are something you want to avoid. I tend to ere on the side of being slightly overdressed. For example: business casual can mean different things in different corporate settings. For some jeans may be appropriate where I might wear Khakis instead.

Dressing for success is important for building self-esteem.

There is a wonderful non-profit called Dress for Success that empowers women to achieve economic independence by providing a network of support, professional attire for interviews and work, and development tools to help women enter and thrive in work and life.

There are, a number of events in September including, donation drives and galas to support Dress for Success. There are currently 144 offices in 22 countries supporting this amazing organization. They have served over 1.2 million women supported by more than 12,000 volunteers.

· Have you retired from your corporate job?

· Is your closet filled with business suits and dresses that you no longer need or wear?

· Are there items in your closet that still have the tags on them that you will never wear?

· Is it time to clear out the items that are too big or too small?

· Is it time for you to clean out your closet and donate your business clothes to someone that can benefit from them.

If you have ever doubted that dressing for success makes a difference, take a moment to listen to some of the stories, make a donation or become a volunteer at: , DressForSuccess.org

You have the power to change lives.

And just maybe it started with your New School Shoes…

Season Of Gratitude

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 02:23:00 GMT

Life is good!

I love to travel.

Air travel used to be fun and exciting.

For many traveling during the past two and a half years has been difficult at best and for some nearly impossible to do.

Despite all the restrictions and hoops that that have been put in the way of travel I have managed to do a fair amount.

Even in 2020, after the world shut down, I traveled to Atlanta, New York City, and even Acapulco Mexico. In 2021 I went to California twice and completed a much-delayed trip to Costa Rica.

This year I went to Philadelphia, San Diego, and then on to Acapulco Mexico once again.

Traveling in these times requires a bit more patience, especially in the airport and on airplanes.

The numerous cancelled and delayed flights have been frustrating to many, caused missed events and cruise sailings and tour departures. Lost luggage issues have been on the rise as there has been a shortage of personal throughout the industry.

Even my recent trip to San Diego had its own tale of adventure. We had a short delay getting out of New York as the was a flight attendant that was a last minute no show due to an emergency at home. That delay was not significant and would not have delayed our arrival.

About an hour into the flight, midway through the drink service, there was an announcement, “We have a medical emergency! Is there a doctor in the house?”

A flight attendant passed out cold in the isle while serving coffee. Her eyes were wide open as she crashed to the floor of the plane hard, spilling coffee on the passengers as she went down.

Not 30 minutes later there was a second announcement, “We have a medical emergency! Is there a doctor on the plane?”

Now I was confused.

What now?

Was it the same emergency or a new one?

Turns out a second flight attendant fell and tore up her knee and could not stand or walk.

From that point on there was no drink or snack service on the plane. It was scheduled to be a five and a half-hour flight. We could all survive the remainder of the flight.

As we approached our destination the pilot announces that there is heavy fog in San Diego, and we have been placed in a holding pattern as visibility on the ground is extremely poor and unsafe for landing.

Round and round we go for an hour.

Next announcement, “This is your captain speaking. I am sorry to tell you that we have been rerouted to Las Vegas for fuel. This should take an hour on the ground. Prepare for landing in Las Vegas.

”

We landed in Las Vegas after flying past the landmarks on the Las Vegas Strip.

Next announcement, “This is your captain speaking. Please remain seated and keep the isles clear so medical personal can safely evacuate our two injured flight attendants. We will not be deplaning passengers. Please remain in your seats so that we can get back in the air as quickly as possible following refueling.

The flight attendants were taken off in medical stretchers.

I made a mad dash to the restroom as at this point it had been seven hours since I had gone. Safely back in my seat before the next announcement.

“This is your captain speaking. Six passengers have requested to get off here in Las Vegas.” They were standing at the front door, of the plane, with their carry-ons in their hands making a lot of noise with the crew.

“If I let these six people off the plane, everyone will have to get off the plane with their belongings and it will cause an even greater delay of the flight.”

There was an audible groan from everyone. We all glared at the passengers in the front making a scene to get off.

Thankfully they returned to their seats, stowed their carry-ons, and sat down having been publicly shamed.

Two replacement flight attendants arrived, and we were once again on our way to San Diego.

We touched down in San Diego three hours later than scheduled. Of course, then we had to wait for a gate to open another 20 minutes delay and the bags took forever to arrive at the carousel.

Chatting with my fellow travelers we were more concerned for the recovery and health status of our downed flight attendants than our minor inconvenience of the flight being much longer than expected.

We were all grateful to get to our destination safely and looked forward to where we could get something to eat and drink as we were parched and starving.

We were grateful for how the captain kept us informed on what was happening and what we needed to do.

I am most grateful that those that thought getting off in Las Vegas would be a good idea, decided to sit down instead of inconvenience everyone on the plane further.

I am grateful to Jet Blue for their prompt apology for the unforeseen issues we experienced and their generous credit for future travel with them, without having to ask for it.

I was grateful that I had planned to arrive at my destination before any of the scheduled events and I did not miss anything due to delays.

I was grateful that I was able to travel to beautiful San Diego and enjoy the retreat I attended and the beautiful weather there.

From San Diego I traveled to Acapulco for three weeks of seminars with my business coach and mentor.

As I sit here writing this story for Positive Tribe this month from Acapulco Mexico. I have just spent three weeks working and playing at one of the most beautiful places I have had the pleasure to travel to.

In a private villa tucked into the hills high above Acapulco Bay I am truly blessed to be here learning from two of the best, with my fellow attendees.

Every day I express my gratitude in my morning meditation.

I have so much to be grateful for.

· I am grateful to be here in beautiful Acapulco.

· I am grateful that I am feeling good and that my latest cancer scan showed that everything was stable, and I should keep doing what I am doing.

· I am grateful for the amazing place I am at physically, mentally, creatively, and spiritually.

· I am grateful to be surrounded by amazing positive people.

· I am grateful for the gorgeous sunsets.

· I am grateful for the amazing peace I feel knowing that this and every day is perfectly unfolding before me just the way it’s supposed to.

What are you grateful in this season of gratitude?

Every November we take time for my favorite national holiday, Thanksgiving.

As you gather around the table with friends and family this Thanksgiving take a few moments to think about the things you are grateful for in your life.

What is the thing you are most grateful for?

Go around the table and share your gratitude with each other. Encourage the children to participate too.

You don’t have to wait for a special occasion.

Anytime you gather with family, friends, or colleagues is the perfect time to express gratitude.

Gratitude and expressing gratitude to each other for both big and little things is important to finding the joy and peace we are all seeking in our lives.

What if expressing gratitude became a daily habit; for you, your family, your community, your country, and the world?

What if everyone in the world expressed gratitude on this day of Thanksgiving.

Imagine the positive energy we would all send out into the universe.

Imagine the collective sigh around the world as we release the negativity, hate, and angst all around us and replace it with love, positivity, and gratitude.

That is a world I choose to live in.

That is a world that can go a long way to healing the things that divide us.

That is a world that will finally find the peace we all so desperately seek.

It can all start with three simple words.

I’m Grateful for…

I ask you again,

What are you grateful for?

Songs Of My Life

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 02:14:00 GMT

I was 10 years old when I moved into my own bedroom upstairs. Much like Ground Hog Day, my brand new turquoise blue clock radio alarm blasts the Marcels “Blue Moon” on WABC radio as my daily wake-up call at 6:15 am, for school. To this day it remains one of the songs of my life. I know all the words and can “bomp baba bomp, dip da dip da dip, dang it da dang” along with the best baritone doowop of its time.

Music has always held a special place in my life.

I’m sure if you think about it you will agree that it does for you too.

My mom exposed us to classical music from an early age. She took us to the symphony, opera, and ballet in NYC. Every year we would go to the Radio City Christmas and Easter shows.

Mom was involved in local chorus and musical shows like “Paint Your Wagon”, “Most Happy Fellow”, and “The King and I”. My sister and I were part of the King and I production as children, dressed in elaborate brocade customs that my mom sewed for us.

We attended musicals at the theater at Jones Beach followed by Guy Lombardo’s band for dancing afterward.

At Christmas we sang carols on Christmas Eve in English and in German with my grandparents. Sometimes my mom would play her violin and my sister and I would play the piano.

We had two pianos in the house. An old upright in the basement and a baby grand in the music room. My sister and I would practice at the same time, different songs, every morning and evening. I don’t know how my mom could stand it. The sound had to be an awful calliope of competing noise.

As grew up, I also learned to play the violin like my mom, while my sister took up the flute. Mom had played the violin in the 1939 World’s Fair in New York and I would play the violin at the New York Pavilion at the 1964 World’s Fair. My chorus would sing there in 1965 as well.

In 1964 a new musical “West Side Story” was playing at Westbury Music Fair. My parents had taken us to many shows at this venue but this one was filled with controversy. It was a story of violence and love between rival gangs. My parents’ friends were appalled that they took us at the tender ages of 12 and 14 to such a show. I remember coming home singing all the words to the beautiful songs and being mesmerized by the dancing in the updated version of Romeo and Juliette.

Of course, who could forget the Beatles appearance on Ed Sullivan and the British invasion Rolling Stones, Dave Clark 5, Herman’s Hermits, Petula Clark, and so many others: “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”, “She Loves You”, “Satisfaction”, “Silhouettes”, and “Downtown”.

Folk music and acoustic guitar was also huge. I learned to play the guitar and even had a folk singing group with Gerry Katz and Doug Oster. We performed at Girl and Boy Scout events and Churches around Long Island singing favorites like “If I had a Hammer”, “Puff the Magic Dragon”, “Charlie on the MTA”, “Where Have all the Flowers Gone” and even “Elenore Rigby”

I became an encyclopedia of nonsense songs as a camp counselor. In fact, I wrote a paper in college for an anthropology class that chronicled the history of nonsense songs and included the words to the songs I had been singing for years.

Junior Prom in 1968 was all about Rock and Roll. I don’t have a memory of what the slow dance was but remember dancing to the music all night in my first formal at the Huntington Townhouse while the band played “The Twist”, songs from Elvis Presley, the Temptations, Beatles, and many more.

I had the privilege of hearing Don McLean sing “American Pie” at a Girl Scout Opportunity event the summer before it was ever released. That same event introduced me to Margaret Richie and the haunting sound of the Kentucky Dulcimer. My dad would build one for me with the diagram I brought home.

1969 “Sweet Caroline” was my summer beach song. Of course, real rock and roll filled the airways and a little event in upstate New York made the news worldwide and the music of Woodstock would be memorialized forever.

I was accepted to the Crane School of Music as a Piano Major. I had intended to become a music teacher. After one year in the program I felt they were destroying my love for music. That was something I was not going to let happen. I changed majors and was happier for it, freed to explore new things beyond music.

Music continued to be important to me then and throughout my life as I pursued a different life path.

There seemed to be a special song each year of college. Simon and Garfunkel sang “Bridge Over Troubled Water”, “Aqualung” by Jethro Tull, Rod Stewarts’ “Maggie May”, and of course Helen Redding’s “I am Women”. They each became an anthem memorializing the time.

I have fond memories of spending Saturdays at the Harvard Coop when I lived in Boston. It was the age of Kick A** Rock and Roll. Racks and racks of LPs filled an entire floor of the building. I do believe that we had the best music of all time, just saying!

1976 July 4th, the Bicentennial I was one of the massive crowd of 250,000 on the Esplanade, along the River Charles as the Boston Pops performed the 1812 Overture with real cannons and spectacular fireworks.

Moving overseas to Kwajalein in the Marshall Islands I was limited as to what I could bring with me. Of the 1000 lbs. in my sea shipment, the stereo and album collection was 150 lbs. Living on an island without TV, cars, or telephones music would be essential. I spent 3.5 years there and missed most of the Carter presidency as well as the age of Disco. To this day I change the channel whenever a disco song is played.

I fell in love with “Chicago” and it is one of the few bands I have seen more than one time. Stan and I danced to “Color my World” as our wedding song. Years later, Stan won front row tickets to see Chicago at Jones Beach. We got up and started dancing when they played “Color my World”. The flute played directly in front of us, upon completing his solo he leaned forward and asked if it was a special song to us. Indeed it was…

Although I can’t forget watching my new husband and best man doing the worm to “Shout” in their tuxedos and laughing so hard as we did “The Chicken Dance” at our wedding.

Stan loved country music and this Rock and Roller discovered I loved it too. I surprised him with tickets to see Ricky Skaggs in NYC. We saw Charlie Daniels, Lee Greenwood and Willie Nelson sing their iconic anthems.

At our annual Pig Roast 4th of July weekend Patriotic songs and country music were the background for the celebration.

Theme parties, holidays, and events were always paired with music: Octoberfest, Halloween, Ukrainian Easter, and Christmas.

I have been blessed to see Dean Martin in Las Vegas and Tony Bennett in Atlantic City. I am sure there are icons you have seen that you will never forget.

I cried with my mom suffering with Alzheimer’s when her wedding song “Always” was played at an event. When the residents would sing God Bless America as they walked into the Dining Room my eyes would fill with tears.

When asked as a way of introducing myself on the first day of Awakening Giants to sing a song that told people why I was there, I chose “You’ll Never Walk Alone”, from Rodgers and Hammerstein’s musical Carousel. It was just 3 months after Stan’s passing and I started to cry and could not finish the song. Those around me finished it for me. In that moment I felt a giant hug, love, and support in my healing journey.

There are songs that connect me to my business as well. Blood Sweat and Tears “Spinning Wheel” to Get off the Worry-go-round for The Crisis Planner and Whitney Houston singing “I Believe the Children are the Future” for The Science Labs.

The songs of my life are all around me.

I hear them in my head and in my heart.

What are the songs of your life?

· Is it a lullaby sung to you by your mom, grandmother, or father?

· Is it a song from your heritage?

· Is it a song from your church or religious background?

· Is it a song that reminds you of an accomplishment?

· Is it a song that reminds you of an event?

· Is it a song that makes you happy?

· Is it a song that makes you sad?

· Is it a song that stirs an emotion inside of you?

Music is so much more than background noise.

There is magic in the notes, the rhythm, and the beat.

Like a heartbeat “The Beat Goes On” (Sonny & Cher)

“Listen to the Music” (Doobie Brothers)

And you may find your mind transported to another time and place.

Always remember

There are songs that will make you laugh.

There are songs that will make you cry.

There are songs that will remind you of “Days of Future Passed” (Moody Blues).

And…

There are songs that today will mark and make new “Memories” (Barbara Streisand) for you.

Spring Cleaning

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 02:07:00 GMT

Spring is here!

The birds are singing, the grass is growing, and flowers are popping up everywhere.

I don’t know about you; but I feel like I have been in hibernation since December. I was laid low by a health challenge that stole my energy and left me sleeping away the days and long winter nights.

Not that I’m making excuses for my long winters nap.

I am happy to say that I have reawakened just in time for spring.

How many of you have been in a state of hibernation this winter or even this past two years of the pandemic? Have you been staying inside trying to keep safe and warm? Have you been staying away from people, places, and things you loved doing because of mandates and fear?

As we emerge from our hibernation this spring, I invite you to do some much needed Spring Cleaning.

My mother always did a complete Spring Cleaning every year. She would open the windows an get rid of the stale air of winter.

She would take down the heavy winter drapes and replace them with airy sheers or her lace curtains from Germany which allowed the light to dance on the floors and walls as they blew in the breeze.

Every book on the bookcase, knick-knack in the curio, dish, crystal glass, and silver serving piece was removed, dusted, washed, and polished before it was returned to its original place.

The walls were washed, the ceiling dusted, the windows washed inside and out, the carpets vacuumed and shampooed. The bedding was changed to a lighter brighter warm weather weight comforter.

Every nook and cranny was cleaned to within an inch of its life. You were reminded to wipe your feet, put things back where you found them, and not make a mess.

Everything smelled so fresh and clean. The two weeks it would take her to do the Spring Cleaning left her both exhausted yet satisfied. As time went on the two weeks turned into four and my dad was enlisted to help. He never complained as he knew she would not rest until it was done.

Spring Cleaning was a ritual I witnessed every year although I admit I have not kept the tradition in my own home.

The idea of Spring Cleaning has taken on a new meaning for me over the years.

I look at it as a time to shake off the cobwebs of hibernation. I feel like my brain has been sound asleep and its time to really wake up and re-engage in life.

When you are not feeling well it is so hard to just do the basics like brush your teeth and get dressed. I was content to lay around in my PJs, nap when I needed and binge watch movies on the Hallmark channel. I couldn’t focus. I didn’t want to think. Even eating was a chore.

Well now I am feeling better. I feel like myself again. I measure my progress back to feeling like me by small and medium steps and it feels so good to be alive.

I have been nesting in my hibernation den for three months and now I am awake and ready to get back to life.

I am dusting off the projects that have been sitting there for months and finding that under that layer of dust there are great opportunities and ideas that I am ready to tackle.

I am airing out the musty closed-down space I have been living in and opening the blinds and changing the curtains.

I am hearing the birds singing outside my windows, stopping to admire the flowers starting to bloom, and getting out and engaged with life once more.

I am saying yes to meetings, luncheons, speaking, and events.

It’s time to clear off the piles of paper that have accumulated on my desk and reclaim my office.

Its time to declutter and release things that I no longer need or do not serve me. That garage sale is really going to happen this year.

For all of you just emerging from your hibernation be it just for the winter or from the pandemic I invite you to do your own Spring Cleaning.

· Are you ready to open the windows of your life and enjoy everything the breeze blows your way?

· Are you ready to shake off the cobwebs that have clouded your brain and believe that anything is still possible?

· Are you ready to dust off that project that has been languishing and turn your dream into a reality?

· Are you ready to wash away your negative thoughts and beliefs and replace them with a bright shiny positive future?

· Are you ready to release the things that clutter your life and no longer serve you?

Are you ready for the best Spring Cleaning of your life?

I’m ready!

I am so excited to see how my Spring Cleaning journey unfolds for me.

It’s up to you to make your own magical Spring Cleaning journey happen for you.

And when it does, take a moment to thank Spring for your positive vibe.

Squirrels Gathering Nuts

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 01:55:00 GMT

Plink!

Bonk!

Thunk!

Wow, that one just missed my windshield! It almost made me instinctively duck as another acorn bounces off my car driving down the road.

Then I see it. It’s almost laughing at me. A big fat, fluffy tailed squirrel with an acorn in its mouth runs down the tree and runs across the road behind me.

Chattering loudly at me, “Can’t you see I’m busy? I’ve got so much to do. Winter is coming and I must be prepared.”

I laugh to myself.

I know exactly what that squirrel is talking about. (Talking squirrels now I know I’m losing my mind.)

Have you noticed?

Have you felt the burst of energy and urgency in your own life?

The squirrels have been very busy and so have I.

It was a beautiful summer, and I took time to play and enjoy myself.

Maybe I slacked off a bit as my to-do list got longer and longer.

Actually, there was no maybe about it. I did take a breather.

But now it’s time to get back in gear and get things done.

It seems that every year, at this time, I find myself as busy and productive as that nut gathering squirrel.

The cooler weather allows me to open the windows and allow the air to circulate in my home instead of being holed up in the closed air conditioning.

As I allow the house to breath, I find myself breathing in the freshness of the crisp fall mornings and evenings.

I sleep better able to enjoy the feel the soft comforter around me without throwing it off in the middle of the night.

The days are getting shorter. Darkness comes earlier and earlier each day. Soon we will get that hour back we lost in the spring and then it will be dark even earlier.

I feel the urgency of getting things done stir inside me.

I am getting things done.

Every day, I find myself checking off things on my to-do list that I have allowed to stay there much longer than they should have.

I’ve been talking about the need for a garage sale for much too long.

Dare I say years.

I have been piling things in my garage as I have cleared the clutter from my basement, closets, and office spaces for a garage sale.

The garage had become so packed with stuff that I had only a footpath the width of my foot to get from one end of the garage to the other.

It was packed to the ceiling from the front to the back.

A friend reminded me that I would never have that garage sale unless I set a date for it to happen.

I set a date for September 24th and 25th.

Then something amazing happened.

I knew I had to go through everything in the garage and sort out the garbage from the stuff to be sold.

It was a four-day process.

It was exhausting.

Every part of my body hurt.

I swear I was broken, but some Advil took the pain away.

But, oh it was so worth it.

I feel so accomplished.

I discovered that there were some things best sold on Facebook Marketplace.

I found the things that would be best donated.

I figured out how, when, and where to advertise.

I found friends that were willing to help me set up and be there on the days of the sale.

Most important of all, I found a junk removal company that would recycle, donate usable items, and remove everything after the garage sale was over.

I made a promise that once I put things out for sale they were NOT coming back into the house.

What an amazing feeling.

Decluttering is such a fulfilling experience. I have lived in the same house for 42 years and I have only scratched the surface in the decluttering process. I find that taking it one step at a time, I can do it.

Now I am focused on decluttering my workspace with both physical decluttering and task decluttering. I have checked so many things off my to-do list I have started to add new things to the list.

When the list gets too long, it is frustrating.

I learned a long time ago, that when you have a “Honey Do” list for your spouse it’s best to keep it to no more than five items. More than five nothing gets done. It’s like they go on strike. You are asking them to do too many things, and can’t you see they need time to watch football?

You can only add to the list as things are completed.

The same thing applies with your own to-do list.

If you create a list of five things, you want to accomplish today you can get them done.

Start with the most urgent items.

· What is the due date?

· Is the person you want to connect with only available at a certain time?

· How much time will the task take?

I try to have a mix of things on my list. A combination of both long- and short-term items. Some that may be completed quickly and some that will be completed over time.

The long-term projects can be broken into manageable pieces. By creating an outline of the tasks involved you can plan backwards from your due date, even it is self-imposed. You can create a flow chart of what needs to be done in what order to complete the task in the allotted time.

Always remember that everything takes twice a long as you think it will.

· There will be interruptions, the dog wants to go out, your child wants to play.

· There will be distractions, you look up something on the internet and get taken down the rabbit hole.

· You need a break; your stomach is growling and its two hours past lunchtime.

· You can’t connect to the person you need when you need them, text, email, and phone not responding.

· You are waiting for an answer to move forward.

· You are stuck on hold in an automated answering que.

· An emergency takes priority, the basement floods, a friend needs you, you or a family member needs medical attention.

· Technology breaks down at the most inopportune moment.

Factoring all that in you can still check off five items on your to-do list.

Are you ready to make an impact on your life and business this fall?

· What is it you want to accomplish?

· What are your goals?

· What is your plan?

· Are you prepared?

· Have you created a realistic to-do list?

· Do you have the tools you need to do each task?

It is the season to stop procrastinating and start taking action and do it.

Become the implementor of your ideas.

Take inspired action and make things happen.

Turn your dreams into reality.

Winter is coming and with it a whole new year.

What you do now will set you up for greater success in that new year.

Are you ready to get down, get dirty, and be your most productive self?

You may think I’m NUTS.

I know you can do it.

It’s time to be that busy squirrel…

Conquering Fear and The Big Scary Hill

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 01:34:00 GMT

Today is the day! I’m going to do it today! All the neighborhood kids have done it! I need to do it today!

I have to admit I’m a bit nervous as I pull on my long underware, flannel lined pants and itchy wool socks. I tuck my undershirt into my pants and add a bulky sweater.

Its still snowing as I look out the window. I can feel my heart beating in my chest. Yes, I can do it today.

I wrap a scarf around my neck 2 times and one more time across my mouth, pull on my wool cap and add my winter jacket. Pulling on my rubber snow boots I finally add my favorite mittens and make my way to the door.

“On my way out”, I yell, “Bye Mom, I’m going to play in the snow with Barbara and Richie”

If she only knew where I was going she would have stopped me. I can’t let that happen, not today.

Entering the Garage I see it. My Flexible Flyer. It is standing there mocking me. Well mock no more sled. Today I’m going to do it!

I pull my sled out onto the snow covered driveway and join the other children walking down the street in the snow.

We are all walking in the same direction toward the woods at the end of the street.

Some of the kids are laughing and horsing around throwing snowballs at each other.

Not me! I am concentrating on staying calm as I pull my sled through the deepening snow toward my destiny.

My destiny with DEATH. “Suicide Hill” awaits. Today I will conquer my fear and meet the challenge of the hill.

I keep walking. The three blocks seem like a million miles and the sled weighs a thousand pounds.

The snow is sticking to my face and melting off my nose. My socks are starting to itch and the wind feels like it is blowing through me. I feel the chill in my bones even with everything I am wearing.

I’m almost there and see one of the boys, walking in the other direction his lip bloodied. I hesitate a moment. Just what am I thinking?

He shouts at me, “So, you’re finally going to do it chicken!”

“Yes, yes I am”, I reply in a false bravado.

“This I got to see!”, wiping the blood from his lip, he turns around and walks with me the rest of the way.

I stand in the cue of kids waiting their turn at the hill. One by one I watch. Some succeed. Some, well they don’t. I watch as they trudge up the hill some bloodied and bruised some smiling and laughing.

When its my turn I pull my sled to the edge and survey the hill before me. It is a winding narrow path filled with rocks and bolders with an enormous oak tree right in the middle. You have to steer your sled around the tree or risk certain death all the while your sled is accelerating down the hill at a frightening speed.

Standing there, at the precipice, I have another decision to make. Do I go down the hill face first or whimp out and sit on the sled. The kids standing around at the top of the hill are staring at me.

They are waiting for me to make my move…

My heart is pounding. Okay this is it. I take a deep breath and lay face down on the sled. I feel the sled tip slightly as I start moving down the hill.

I am accelerating faster and faster. The tree is directly in front of me. It is coming up really fast now as I manage to steer around it in one deft manuver. I negotiate the final obsacles and reach the bottom of the hill.

I leap off my sled and stand trumphantly to the muffeled mittened appalause from the kids standing at the top of the hill.

Walking up the hill towing my sled I feel so light. I practically skip home through the snow. My 11 year old self so confident so powerful. I had faced my fear. I had prooved the kids taunting me wrong. I had succeeded. I had conqured “Suicide Hill”. Of course mom would never know, but that was okay. I knew and that was what mattered.

Throughout our lives we will encounter things that are scary.

If we give into our fears we will never truly live fully.

That was the first of many fears I have faced in my life. Each time I have looked into the face of fear and decided to push through it has made me stronger. Each time I find it a little easier to make the decision and put fear aside. There are so many opportunities on the other side of fear.

That frightened 11 year old girl who looked fear in the face and just decided to do it is now a 69 year old woman that says yes then figures it out. I’ve said yes to diving with sharks, sleeping with wolves, and living in and traveling to places around the world I would never have dreamed of. I have started new careers, created businesses and experienced failure, loss and success.

I would have never had the amazing life I’ve had if I had not faced “Suicide Hill”.

Do I still feel my heart pounding when I am facing a big decision? Yes, of course I do. I just choose to identity that feeling as excitement instead of fear.

You each have our own fears. Fears that stop you from living the life you dream of.

· What is the big scary hill you fear?

· How will your life change if you cast your fear aside?

· Do you dare to take the leap to change your life path?

· Most importantly, what will not happen if you never face your fear?

Several years ago, I took a walk to the end of the street where the woods still stand.

I stood in the same spot where I laid my fears to rest at the top of “Suicide Hill”.

Looking down at the hill on that day, the rocks did not seem to be so big and the oak tree was not so formidable.

I was surpised to see just how small the hill really was.

Our fears are like that.

Once we put them behind us they can seem small and insignificant, leaving us wondering why we had any fear at all.

Only when we face our fears do we give ourselves permission to soar.

Only then can you truly be free and be everything you are destined to be.

What is Love?

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 01:31:00 GMT

February is the month of LOVE!

Once again Valentine’s Day is looming. It is a day that can trigger many emotions.

For those involved in a romantic relationship there are roses, chocolates, romantic dinners, and even the possibility of a ring given in a moment of swooning adoring love received with the same joy and anticipation of a life to be shared together.

For those that find themselves alone, Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of failed relationships, missed opportunities, and lost loves.

I invite you to look at love from a different perspective. Love is not wrapped up in a single day dedicated to love. There are so many ways to feel and express love. I am grateful to have known many of them in my life.

There are many faces of love. It is not always about the romance.

Real love does not always look like the fairy tales of books and movies. The real power of enduring love is in the knowing that it is always there. That someone truly loves you for you. That someone is willing to do whatever it takes to be there even when things are not easy.

There is the love a woman feels the moment she knows she is pregnant and feels the flutter of new life in her womb. That moment when she knows that her life will be forever changed.

There is the love a new parent feels when they hold their newborn child for the first time, knowing that this precious life is totally dependent on their nurturing caring love.

There is the love shared by an adopting parent and child that they have been gifted each other though that bond of love by choice. They have chosen each other in love.

There is the love you see when you look into the eyes of an adored pet. You heart is filled with love as they snuggle by your side or nestle in your lap. On your darkest days you are lifted by the loving bond you share.

You can feel love of a place that brings special memories. You can feel love in preparing foods that remind you of special people in your life even when they are gone. You are expressing love in keeping the family traditions that make you feel warm and cozy and loved.

We live in a throwaway world where we are too often looking for the next thing. Some people become obsessed with the thrill of the passionate side of pursuing new love. The physical attraction, the flutter in your gut, the rolling thunder of making love for the first time. This is a chemical reaction that can be so powerful that you fail to see beyond the moment. A moment that can fade a quickly as it came upon you.

If you are always looking for the next chemical connection, you are missing out of the true meaning of LOVE.

My parents were married for 65 years, parted only by the passing of my father. My dad was not what you would call romantic. Although every year on October 23rd flowers would appear on the dining room table. Not for a birthday or anniversary. They were a celebration of their 1st date. He never forgot the day that changed his life forever, the day he fell in love with my mother.

My dad’s love built a beautiful home with everything my mother could dream of. All she had to do was ask and it was done. Each project was a labor of love.

I only heard them raise their voices in an argument one time. There is nothing that my dad or my mom would not have done for each other. Even as my mom started her journey into Alzheimer’s my dad kept her safe and protected.

At my niece’s wedding my parents were the last couple on the dance floor for the Anniversary dance. The MC asked them the secret of their long marriage. My mom said, “Never go to bed angry.” My dad said, “Spend a lot of time in bed!” Everyone laughed…

This is the love story that I was blessed to witness.

Ultimately, I was blessed to experience my own love story.

I was blessed to be loved completely by my sweet Gentle Giant Stan for 28 years. After my 1st marriage ended in divorce, I did not think that I would experience love again.

Wow, was I wrong. The ink was barely dry on the divorce paperwork when Stan, a long time acquaintance from the scuba club came into my life. I was putting together a diving trip to Bonaire and was calling the list of past dive travelers. Stan was on the list. He asked who else was going. After I read him the list he asked “ What about Bob?” I responded that we were no longer married.

Two days later there is a message on my answering machine inviting me to a Pig Roast on July 1st and to bring macaroni salad. Not sure if it was just a Bar-B-Que invitation or a date I made my macaroni salad and showed up at the Pig Roast. Who knew it was a test, thank goodness I made home-made macaroni salad.

Standing in the kitchen with Stan’s sister she shared that they had planned the Pig Roast and each invited their own list of guests. Turns out I was Stan’s list. Interesting…

On July 4th the temperature was up in the 90’s. I invited Stan over for a swim. He then invited me out to dinner two days later. Our first official date. Over dinner he blurted out, “I’m going to marry you!”. I was shocked to say the least. He followed up with “I don’t care how long it takes you, but we are meant to be together.”

He was right and we were married less than two years later. From the first moment we were as comfortable together are a pair of old slippers under the bed. The love we felt for each other was deep and multifaceted.

We celebrated the beginning of our relationship with a pig roast every 4th of July for 25 years. We were soulmates in love and life. We shared the joy, laughter and good times along with heartbreaking health challenges that never broke Stan’s spirit or our love for each other.

I know that he survived the last three years he was here because of his love for me. He did not want to leave me alone. It was out of love that I gave him permission to go knowing that our love was not bound by this earth.

Even now I feel his love surround me in a gentle hug. I know that he is watching over me smiling with love in his blue eyes. He is giving me the strength to face my own challenges all because of love that lives on nearly five years after his passing.

I invite you to look at the love in your life this Valentine’s Day beyond the narrow definition of the purveyor’s of cards, chocolates, and flowers.

Take a moment to share your feelings of love with everyone that has touched your heart.

· Make a phone call to a family member

· Text an old friend

· Hug a child

· Check on a neighbor

· Remind someone that you are thinking of them

· Do something unexpected for a stranger

Don’t limit these expressions of love to one day of the year.

Instead choose to live in LOVE every moment of every day.

When you do

You will understand the true meaning of LOVE!